Roman Empire

My initial instinct was to vote for Chris, even th...

2010-03-01T23:04:35.957-08:00

My initial instinct was to vote for Chris, even though he's not me. Then I read the statistics on the fighters. I voted for Chris.

For the record, I bathe in pork water. However, I'...

2010-02-16T23:36:58.603-08:00

For the record, I bathe in pork water. However, I'm not sure that has anything to do with your comment on cooking like an Italian chef. I thought you don't cook?

Niacin and thiamine are B vitamins. They are good ...

2010-02-16T17:04:50.820-08:00

Niacin and thiamine are B vitamins. They are good for you. But Xanthan Gum? Well... that was probably reverse engineered from alien technology. But remember, you don't have to be an Italian Chef to cook like an Italian Chef...

Dude...did I???? I think it was someone else. I th...

2010-02-09T19:43:58.728-08:00

Dude...did I???? I think it was someone else. I think...

The bearded, Budweiser chugging Janus... is this f...

2010-02-09T10:18:39.214-08:00

The bearded, Budweiser chugging Janus... is this for whom you wrote that poem in high school?

At least you have a nice ass Matthew. Please note ...

2010-01-11T21:59:45.198-08:00

At least you have a nice ass Matthew. Please note that I'm not gay but simply remarking on your latest blog posting at the world famous matthewDgibson.com. Make sure to get that "D" in there.

"Sometimes when you take out the trash, you throw ...

2010-01-11T12:50:58.108-08:00

"Sometimes when you take out the trash, you throw yourself into the dumpster." - My favorite. I just wish it didn't happen to me so often.

Don't get me a pube trimmer dude because your mom ...

2009-12-08T20:30:14.663-08:00

Don't get me a pube trimmer dude because your mom likes to shave it herself. What?

Brandon is really good but let's face it, he's not as talented as Kobe, LeBron, or D-Wade. If that wasn't the case, then why is he doing commercials for shoe pad places in Tualatin while those guys are all over the Nike ads?

Rudy had some good moments last season but is he even a consistent starter? Come on.

Pryz is an excellent back up and could even start but what he done in all his years here? Look, I'm not going to say that his locker room hand jobs are not without purpose but the guy simply needs to contribute some sort of statistic, be it points, rebounds, or blocks.

Bayless is a little bitch. I haven't seen a guy as useless as this since seeing a paramedic at a donkey show.

I hope you enjoy the Tiffany's friendship bracelet I got you for Guy Hanukkah this year.

Now that Greg Oden is done injuring all his knees ...

2009-12-08T11:28:13.681-08:00

Now that Greg Oden is done injuring all his knees he should be good to go in the coming season with his two robot knees. It's not like he has a third knee to injure, right? Right!

Brandon Roy is our superstar player, without the superstar attitude. Kobe, Shaq, and LeBron are dicks. We don't need their shit.

I think we have a very good bench.

Rudy Fernandez is THE SHIT! Who cares if he's here to deal ecstasy?

Pryz is an excellent backup for Oden and I think he can step up now that Oden is injured.

And Bayless has beautifully groomed eyebrows.

I am still a Blazer believer.

All that being said, I hope you enjoy the pube trimmer I got you for Guy-Hanukah.

Perhaps I meant to say NBA Live 1997 but then agai...

2009-11-24T18:05:07.595-08:00

Perhaps I meant to say NBA Live 1997 but then again, I don't want the kids to think I'm old. And are you telling me that you're not playing Madden 2019 right now? It's SO good and Tom Brady-Giselle, Jr is awesome!

Don't worry, once we get to two cents on our Googl...

2009-11-24T15:27:46.373-08:00

Don't worry, once we get to two cents on our Google AdSense revenue we'll never have to work again. We'll be able to stay home in our underwear and write bitchy blogs all day. ALL DAY.
And I've heard the mediterranean diet is the healthiest diet in the world. It's really heavy on olive oil.
How did you play NBA 2007 when you were a kid?

I drive a Yaris. There is no flirting. Ever.

2009-11-21T02:51:59.906-08:00

I drive a Yaris. There is no flirting. Ever.

Mike, I didn't know you had it in you to the do ma...

2009-11-19T18:39:39.178-08:00

Mike, I didn't know you had it in you to the do math. Jesus dude.

Matt, I bet you wish you didn't have DirecTV!

Can you um... can you send this cable guy over to ...

2009-11-19T15:21:47.094-08:00

Can you um... can you send this cable guy over to my place??

Hmmmm...by my calculation Zachary could be at most...

2009-11-19T04:07:45.024-08:00

Hmmmm...by my calculation Zachary could be at most 4 months old. So...you have a 4 month old that watches raunchy porn? Damn, I knew you'd be a good father! Congrats on the wedding and the baby and all.

This is definitely true.

2009-11-11T23:34:40.739-08:00

This is definitely true.

That guy was fucking nuts.

2009-11-10T23:54:04.139-08:00

That guy was fucking nuts.

Haha, that'd be awesome!

2008-05-01T15:18:00.000-07:00

Haha, that'd be awesome!